How to Get Over Your Weight Gain Insecurities

I've gained weight. When it first happened, I didn't know quite how to handle it. Rather than confront the situation, I ignored it. The pounds crept on.

I became a stress eater.

Looking back on it, I understand that I ate in response to stress. As a new freelance writer, I was inexperienced with managing and juggling my deadlines. Crackers, potato chips, carbohydrates, chocolate - these became my constant companions.

On some nights, I would stay up really late trying to finish up a project that I had either procrastinated or had no choice but to cut pretty close to the deadline. And guess what? I ate my way through them while I was writing. I really don't want to know how many calories I would consume in a sitting.

At first, this weight gain really bothered me. As I reached for more food to help soothe the stress of having gained weight, I realized that I needed to change my attitude. It is in doing this that I understood one very important fact:

I couldn't move forward and lose weight until I had come to terms with the weight gain.

Healthy Attitude About Food

Not only that, but I needed to develop a healthy relationship with food. I am happy to say that I did just that. Each day I focus on eating three meals that are as healthy as possible with optional healthy snacks. I eat things that aren't good for me sometimes, but I don't worry about it.

One thing I need to work on is eating at night. Sometimes I eat dinner a little too early and end up eating at night.

Am I losing weight? Yes. It's a slow but healthy weight loss. And the first step was to like how I look as is. I really believe weight loss won't happen in a permanent way until that happens.

Have you gained weight? Do you need to lose weight? Don't reach for the latest fad diet just yet. In fact, don't turn to fad diets at all. The goal is to lose weight in such a way that fosters a healthy body image and good eating and exercise habits.

Fad diets have the opposite effect. They make you feel as if the results will be miraculous but the diets end up making us feel hungry and frustrated because of the impossible demands. So we lose our focus and continue on with our destructive habits.

I have a better idea. Instead of choosing a diet - we can simply work on liking ourselves for who we are. Here are some ideas that can really help. Don't worry - you'll work on losing weight - but this is an essential step.

• Clean out your closet. I didn't start losing weight in earnest until I gave away all the clothes that didn't fit me. Once I released my thinner self, I knew I could move forward in life and maybe become that again.

• Buy new clothes. One never knows how long it will take to lose all the weight. Perfect excuse to go shopping, don't you think? I had so much fun buying new clothes that it put a smile on my face and improved my mood considerably.

• Visit the spa. Get a massage or a facial. Take a dip in the hot tub. Go in the sauna or steam room. A good old fashioned spa visit puts us in touch with our bodies. It makes us feel good in our own skin. When we feel good, we look good. Do this as often as you can.

• Look in the mirror. Make it a point to look in the mirror. You can do this naked if you want. Get acquainted with who you are and what you look like. Chances are you look very good. Let the image of what you look like in your mind match up with how you really are on the outside.

These are things that I still do on a regular basis. The goal is to get yourself to the point where you like yourself and have confidence no matter what your size is.

These are the three big things I did

Have you ever gone a diet? I learned the hard way that this isn't the best way to drop pounds and have the weight loss last. The process is always the same. I follow a diet for about a week. I actually lose some pounds. Then, I drop the diet and gain all the weight back. Sometimes I gain more.

At least, this is what things were like for me before I wised up.

Instead of using the word "diet" I just told myself that I was going to focus on building healthy habits. I cleaned up my diet. I started exercising more. All told, I've lost five pounds so far but I have kept it off. I have also lost my urge to overeat. It's a long, slow process but I feel this is the best way to lose the weight and keep it off.

Here are some things to try

• Food journal. Keep a food journal for about a week so that you can become aware of what you eat and when you eat it. You don't even have to change anything. Once the week is up, flip through it to see if there is anything you can change. Make changes slowly.

• Three meals a day. This is one thing that has really helped. I focus on eating three healthy meals a day. When I sit down to eat a meal, I think about hen,what my last meal was like. I make my food choices that way. For example, if I ate pasta for lunch, I will likely (hopefully) have a salad or a meal with a lot of vegetables in it for dinner.

• Move each day. Once I stopped trying to follow a set workout plan, I found that exercise became a lot more enjoyable. My goal is to find a way to move each day. Anything goes - walking, cleaning, dancing - sometimes I go to the gym. It doesn't matter - I just pay attention to my body and what it needs or simply what I feel like doing.

Weight gain isn't a bad thing. What is important is having a good body image and maintaining your self confidence. Then, simply think about ways to make your body healthier and you'll find that the weight loss will happen naturally.